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oh

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wow

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[Music]

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I hate this place

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I'm still working on my uh my collage of

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David politis to uh Patterson gimlet

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yeah

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still working all right

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I'll keep that up um

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so I'm gonna start this story uh because

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you guys were talking about how much you

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like Ohio and all your Ohio related

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things yeah yep and uh Mike this is

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something you need to be careful of

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because I have a feeling at some point

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you're going to come on the show and

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explain that you spent

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the better part of a day trying to get

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out of this situation yep

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all right we'll we'll bring this uh up

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on screen and we will uh we'll figure

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out uh what this is all about here we go

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uh how local dad ended up locked inside

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Chicken Coop oh wow that's some good

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news on that front so a local dad is uh

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confessing all about how he got locked

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inside oh and there's a video attached

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so we can get some like I still in there

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they wouldn't let him out okay

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we're not we're not letting you on to

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clean up the mess in there and it is

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they get messy up there their chickens

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are messy creatures

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in the heart of the historic Sussex

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neighborhood in Shaker Heights was built

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by an Amish Carpenter and is home to

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eight hens it has become the favorite

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pet project of three-year-old Sam

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scalise and his mother when Sam's mom

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was called away on a business trip his

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dad volunteered to look after their

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chickens and I was helping the hens back

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into the house and left these keys in

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the door there were more than just

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ruffled feathers inside the coop when

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Michael scalise saw little Sam turn the

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keys in the lock to the door and pulled

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them out next thing I knew I was locked

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in the uh The Coop I tried to get him to

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use the keys to open up the door and he

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failed a number of times Michael scalise

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a former U.S army paratrooper and medic

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with the 82nd Airborne considered

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different ways he could fly The Coop had

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he run off or something like that I may

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have had to try like break it but this

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is one of my wife's favorite things so I

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really didn't want to break it because I

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didn't want to be in trouble that's when

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Michael scalise decided he needed help

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police on fire can I help you

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hi yes I have a non-emergency request I

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am locked in my chicken coop by my

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three-year-old son my three-year-old son

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locking in my chicken we'll come kill

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the sun right now

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so okay we'll we'll get you out of there

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while scalise was waiting for help to

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arrive he told his son to put the keys

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to the coop in his pocket he said okay

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in about 10 seconds later he said Daddy

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the key fell under a big rock which is

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one of the pavers you can kind of see

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over there firefighters here in Shaker

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Heights were not quite sure what to make

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of the call of a man locked inside a

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chicken coop but they did arrive within

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10 minutes and sure enough they found a

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very relieved Michael scalise waiting to

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be arrested firefighters were able to

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retrieve the keys wedged between the

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pavers and after freeing Michael scalise

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they just had a couple of questions for

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little Sam and his dad about the most

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unusual incident of the day if it

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definitely felt silly trying to explain

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the situation to them one of them was

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actually really into the chickens which

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is funny I'm not into chickens my wife

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is the person who's in the chicken Fox 8

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news in Shaker Heights

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I hope that they showed up with like

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sirens blaring jaws of life yeah and

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just like they stopped the neighbors I

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was like come on come on gather around

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gather around look at this guy

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let me break out the jaws of life here

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there we go

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oh yeah we've got Robo Biden over here

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yeah he can he's like the Six Million

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Dollar Man Tuesday outside Beauty

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he flies in on his own jet pack and he's

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got all sorts of hydraulics so I would

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imagine that that kid's being punished

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like extraordinarily so yeah so they did

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show the part where the kid now lives in

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the chicken coop

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this is this is your house now yeah you

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live in here you take care of the

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chickens we're gonna call you you're

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gonna live like a chicken until you're

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like seven

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we'll feed you like chicken chicken boy

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Chicken Boy and your chicken boy now

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a little kid you know how angry you'd be

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to be locked in there because you can't

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you could very easily rip down that cage

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and that chicken wire what the hell just

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pushed through it yeah that guy was a

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big dude like he was uh biggest lake

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I've ever seen he was a 300 pounder

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easily and if his wife's gonna be upset

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he's not gonna run out of food

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no you just eat the chickens it's fine

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just just wait till your wife gets home

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and then punish that little dick

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you know maximum

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I'm with you the kid was up no good he

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thought he was being clever

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but okay yeah I wonder what what's

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actually the cover up here

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yeah there's there's some angle we're

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missing here like that that kid

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just on a whim locked his dad in there

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no that Dad did something to that kid

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that would warrant that kind of response

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like they like the dad probably maybe

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preemptively took his Fortnight away or

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some sort of there's some sort of

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punishment that led up to this we're not

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getting the full story

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this is retaliation for something

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something deeper something do you do you

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have a lock on your chicken coop

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uh we have we do have a lock yeah we

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have uh it's uh it's a very simple lock

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it's just one of those kind of Clips you

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put on top of it uh like the same kind

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of clip you would use for like rock

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climbing or something like that uh

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you're talking about a latch though you

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didn't touch the door yeah he's talking

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about this guy's talking about a lock my

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question is why does he need to lock his

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chicken coop that is a good question

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typically you don't not a lot of

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raccoons know how to use locks right

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um I mean that's your main Predator

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right there is Neighborhood Cats coyotes

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that sort of thing but yeah they don't

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use keys so typically they don't except

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the smarter ones you gotta watch out for

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them

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sometimes a raccoon they learn you know

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when they get thrown into an abortion

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clinic or McDonald's they learn a lot of

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lessons being in there but uh

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typically they don't survive that and if

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they do then their special breed of

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raccoon

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uh I'd like a follow-up story I think uh

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Eyewitness News 10 I should do a

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follow-up in a full investigative report

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on that family and what's going on with

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that chicken coop yeah 24 7 camera

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footage of that we need we need infrared

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we need thermographic all on all eyes on

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that chicken coop so uh I guess stupid

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answer to my question people are now

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saying in the chat that uh he has to

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lock that up because he lives in

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Cleveland so okay yeah there you go yeah

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it's not the safest joint

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you know what that might be a good point

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maybe there are neighborhood Hooligans

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who go in there and are chicken thieves

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that I mean that's a good point

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yeah Shaker Heights is not necessarily

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out in the stick so I mean it's it's in

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it's a suburb so

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well it is is a chicken coop of that

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size it did look like a very well-built

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chicken coop is that warranted can we

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call zoning on this thing and get the

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whole operation shut down this guy got

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his whole chicken coop taken out oh nice

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there you go and then sir uh We're not

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gonna let you out of the chicken Cooper

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we are going to take the chicken coop

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and then

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like Napalm the entire thing

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firemen just show up and hack it to the

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ground

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there you're done problem solved

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well he got for it oh I'm sorry gotta

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all right I'm going in also uh so I'll

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give you one more here this is the

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holdover from last show I'll give you

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one another one um but I've now had two

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requests from people uh who want to call

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in they want open lines I don't know if

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you want to do that today or not uh I

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don't think we have time uh I would love

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to but uh we we I just don't think we

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have time we can either do one more

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story or do an open line

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I think people want One More Story okay

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well this one's a hold over from uh uh

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from Wednesday I brought it up and you

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said let's let's wait on that one so

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this is the guy who donates his poop oh

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good

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okay

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we'll bring this up on screen

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uh fecal philanthropist donates poop to

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save lives that's good news that is good

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news

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I do like this

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uh let's see here uh donors are

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compensated fifty dollars per drop off

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to cover parking and travel expenses

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holy crap so you can make some real

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money doing this stuff wow look at I

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need money

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uh in London Ontario man has a

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particular way of paying his bills or

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collecting a bit of extra Pocket Change

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he sells his poop and he's not the only

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one quote essentially you end up pooping

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onto a plate and then scooping that into

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a collection tube and then dropping it

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off it's as simple as that to who you

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just drop it off anywhere yeah just at

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random here you go there you go sir you

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go Taco Bell have fun

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at the first window where's my money

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uh Jim all who studies Immunology in

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microbiology said it's less about the

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money and more about saving lives his

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[\h__\h] saves lives is what he's trying to

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say

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uh can I just [\h__\h] at the facility can I

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just show up there like why do I got to

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do all the work like [\h__\h] onto a

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plate and then scooping it into a tube

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can I just come there and [\h__\h] on

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something I'm curious more about the why

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the plate and then the tube why not just

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straight into the tube because now

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you've ruined two pieces of well this

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this historic experience uh is curious

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uh so you remember that Missing 411

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story I told about the the grandmother

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the robot grandmother who took her

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grandson to a cave and asked them to

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take a crap or a dump on a piece of

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plastic I wonder if that robot clone is

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using those reselling this reset well

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you could say reselling it or using that

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uh stool sample to study our immunology

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and microbiology

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like they're doing the same thing they

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they need to study Us in that way to

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find out how our immune system responds

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to certain things and they can do that

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through poop or crap

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well Healthcare professionals have put

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uh put out a call an open call for poop

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donors at the St Joseph's uh Healthcare

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in London where fecal transplants have

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become a routine procedure used to treat

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potentially life-threatening uh see I

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guess as hepatitis C

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uh they're also so I've heard about that

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like you you take poop from one person

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and then you implant that poop into

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another person and it clears up a lot of

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uh problems that they have like it can

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be very beneficial

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uh quote this is not just mild diarrhea

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this is as they would say diarrhea from

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Hell said Dr Michael Silverman medical

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director of St Joseph's infectious

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disease CARE program after a course of

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antibiotics healthy gut bacteria can be

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killed which causes the illness he says

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so I guess yeah too many uh antibiotics

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just neutralizes any of that that good

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bacteria in your gut that you need

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so uh quote we take bacteria from this

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healthy poop that John and others

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produce

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and we uh proceed we have a process to

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get rid of anything that is not critical

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and then put them in capsules

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okay so they take out the bad poop and

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keep the good poop and then they put

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that good poop inside in inside somebody

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who needs that good poop

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okay it's a money maker it's a money

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maker so 50 bucks like like wait till

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the homeless find out about this yeah

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well you could what you can do you go

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you donate blood and then you go to the

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sperm bank and then you drop off a deuce

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wait did you say the blood

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yeah

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but plasma too blood plasma then plasma

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and then you let some drug experiment

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[\h__\h] go on you know go to the college

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so if you're if you're if you're pumping

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and dumping in the same day that is like

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your entire day

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that takes I mean that I mean that's a

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that's a good morning in an afternoon

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and after that you're probably spent

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and Mike you got to be more efficient do

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them at the same time I okay that's

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called a blumpkin in in in certain

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self-blum I don't know if you can do

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that at one facility although you could

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open up one Clinic that does this the

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same it's a perm a sperm bank and poop

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collection Bank why don't you just call

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it the pump and dump the pump and dump

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fifty dollars per drop off foreign

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the come and drop

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it's a the last sentence here uh quote

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it's a great Icebreaker to meet new

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people and tell them that you donate

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poop and they're really thrown off

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yeah

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oh that's your opening line at any bar

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when you're trying to meet a woman like

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what do you do for a living oh I take a

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crap on a plate and then I and then I

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sell it for fifty dollars you know that

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beer I bought you I guess I paid for it

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I crapped in a tube

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you want to go out

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hold on let me pay for this dinner real

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I didn't bring my wallet don't worry I

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got this covered compliments to the chef

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I got this

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I can pay for this Uber right now in the

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back seat sir what are you doing back

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there I'm getting ready to pay for your

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Uber hold on I I uh I am thinking of a

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new business where I I started a

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business where I just go around

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collecting other people's poop and I

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sell it on their behalf and I get a

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little cut of the profit if you recall

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we had a story about two years ago of a

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guy who was hiding down in the bottom of

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uh Porta Johnson a scientist is what

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you're saying that's right he's

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collecting samples yeah he was just out

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there collecting he's trying to pay back

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his student loans I'm a microbiologist

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I'm trying to cure people's gut bacteria

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this is the best way to do it come

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I'm a prune brother

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it is

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well uh I didn't know this was available

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but it's only in Canada right now

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um I guess what they're saying is that

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there's franchising opportunities here

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in America

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and uh okay

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yeah so look for your your look for a

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local uh pump and dump to open near you

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00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:17,160
soon yeah give us an email at our big

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00:15:23,629 --> 00:15:20,480
thumb mouth gmail.com check out